I took a morning walk today in Charlotte and saw all the red dirt they have here, and the millions of red dirt anthills coming out of every crack in the sidewalk. Which reminds me of a funny story…
Many years ago, we played in Charlotte and stayed overnight at our pal Mike Hendrix’s house, he of the Belmont Playboys. Mike lived outside of Charlotte in the country in a house with a long driveway.
In the morning as we were getting ready to leave, myself and the other band members were in the van and I started the engine, while Chris “Sugarballs” Sprague stood off in the grass about ten feet away, giving the universal look of “give me a minute, I’m trying to finish this cigarette.” (He quit smoking years ago, so no need for public service announcements.)
He was off in the grass for two or three minutes, finished his cig, and hopped in the van. As I began to back up out of the long driveway, we probably hadn’t got more than thirty feet when I looked over at Chris. His pant legs were covered with literally thousands of swarming red ants. He had apparently been smoking his cigarette while standing on an anthill. I’ve never seen so many ants before, ever, and they were those big, mean, fast red ants that will sting the crap out of you.
“DUDDDDE!” I yelled, and pointed at his pants.
Chris jumped out of the van and proceeded to do five minutes of the absolute best, literal “ants in my pants” dancing and shaking I have ever seen. It was before cell phones had video cameras on them, otherwise I would be posting the award-winning video footage right now. It was the greatest thing I have ever seen to this day.
He climbed back in the van, hair tousled like he had been in a wrestling match, and North Carolina humid-sweat dripping from his face. We were all dying, we were laughing so hard. Our sides hurt from laughing so hard.
“Man, that wasn’t FUNNY!” he said, as he began hysterically laughing himself.
If you think you’re a smart person and want to move to North Carolina or anywhere else in the Deep South to save money on taxes and cheap gasoline, just remember to keep moving, especially around these damned red dirt anthills.
I’ll be performing in Charlotte tonight at the Neighborhood Theater with #losstraitjackets for our Rock ’n’ Roll Dance Party. Hope to see you there!
#ants #antsinpants #redants #charlotte #NeighborhoodTheater #losstraitjackets #surfguitar #rocknroll #goodtimes
